finally

Finally. I've said it. Thank you Lord. hmm. I'm now relieved. After several weeks of worries, now I've said it.

I need a break

Thank God it's Friday. And thanks to God we have no classes today. Aah. Finally, I have some time to relax. Yesterday was really a disaster. I just got home crying because I was so tired then. My mom asked me what happened. I just told her I was pagod. The heavy rain and my HEAVY BAG really ruined my day. It was raining and there were lots of passengers in the train. We were already like sardines inside. The train was so slow and it kept on stopping that made all passengers who were standing lose their balance. And I was one of them. Good thing I got a hold on the train rails. There were times that I ride the train without holding on those rails and it's really hard, knowing that I wear high heels. But yesterday I managed to find myself a better place in the train where I can hold properly on the rails, although my bag and the envelope gave me a hard time. And another thing, there were no gentlemen (nowadays). There were two men sitting comfortably in front of me and they didn't even bother to let me sit down, I was sure they noticed how difficult it was for me standing for almost 45 minutes.

I got home late, crying. I already bursted with tears. My mom just massaged my back and told me to take a rest. Then, I was surprised when she asked me if I wanted to stay in a dorm near my school. Before I used to ask her if I can stay in a dorm because I find a hard time traveling, although I'm already used to it. I can save money and time then. But last night when she asked me about it, I had my second thoughts. Another thing to decide on.

One thing I'm afraid of is that I'm attached with my family and if I stayed in a dorm all by myself, I might end up crying all night. I know that it has lots of advantages, and for once I even thought of having independence. But I'm afraid. How about my food. Clothes. Homeworks? This one will surely be a big problem. Hmm. Well, let me decide.

hope

Hoping for a better day tomorrow.

see-saw

Have you ever tried riding a see-saw? Of course, every kid did try that one. The one in the playground that must have a partner and you would go up and down, and up and down. I remembered when I tried the see-saw. Although I know the one who'll try that must be happy, I had a weird feeling then. Instead of being excited and having fun, I felt scared. I thought I might fall or something, especially when I'm the one on top, and this made me scream and I would beg my playmate to bring me down, of course with the laughs,lol.

Then I remembered my childhood days. I was shy. I was really quiet. I don't talk that much. All I did was to study which made me a consistent honor student back then. I was brought to a school where my bestfriend was also my rival when it comes to academics. There were times when I would cry just because I lost my place of being the top student. I realized that when I was a kid, I already have this notion of success. But it was different. I started at the top (think of the see-saw thing). And it brought a bad effect on me. Just because I'm on top, I would make it to a point that I would be the one on top, until the end. This made me more serious in my studies, and my parents would sometimes get mad at me because I used to worry about a lot of things at school. I was afraid. I was afraid of failures. Just like when I was in the see-saw, I was on top, but I was afraid to fall down.

Until I reached 2nd year high school that I already lost my place of being the top student of our class, for some reasons I still didn't know. Many teachers would ask what happened to me. I really felt bad about it. Now, I am feeling down. I am already at the bottom. Maybe too much for the "top" stuff, and that now I am at the bottom. I didn't actually change my habits in studying, I still exert a lot of effort. Yes I have good grades to consider, but not like before. It's just that things do change. Things just happen. There will surely come a time when we are not always on top. We do face a lot of challenges. And I myself call this one a challenge. Although others may think this is just a normal thing for a student (and this was way way back several years ago, I just came to think of it again, lol) I am still thankful that God let this one happen. Imagine me being always on top, what if a problem happened and made me fall down? I think I would have a hard time with that. That's why I'm thankful that God gives me challenges. Challenges that help me learn how to handle different situations and teaches me to hold on to Him. Challenges that make me strong. And I also thank Him for giving me wonderful friends. The best friend/s, who teach/es me how to do this and do that. Without his advices, I would surely give up, me being a pessimist,nah. And in every situation, good or bad, I am thankful that I have my God whom I can call anytime.

And now, I am, once again, reaching my goals. Reaching for the top. Dreaming. Planning. Studying. Learning. Discovering. For me, if you want to have a good future, just think and imagine of a bright future ahead of you. It serves as your basis in reaching your dreams. And remember to have God as your guide in every decision.

Verse for this post: Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint."

headache

I really don't know what to say right now. It's just that my mind is so tired of thinking, with all those quizzes we took up this day followed by the survey we conducted. Ahh. It's like my mind will explode anytime. Early morning I was already in a bad mood. Yes, I think it happens almost everyday, it's a shame then. We had our IDS quiz, and it was really hard, for those who didn't study, and I'm proud to say I'm one of them. Or was it only me who didn't study? ahh forget it. We also had a quiz in Business Communications, which I hope I got a good result.

shoosh

I don't want to hear complaints from anyone hm?lol..

how GREEN are you?

Our Ecotourism professor gave us a group quiz which we are to give our reactions about the article and she also made us visit some websites about the subject and we must think of some programs in these websites that may also be applied in the Philippines. As I searched on some projects on the given sites, I landed on this. In this site you can see TNS Green Life Study. I was impressed on the presentation. They identified the TOP 10 Environmental Issues Facing the World Today. Take some time to visit the site and explore and be informed on some issues about the environment. May we also help in the preservation and conservation of our nature.

friday madness

10 July 2009, Friday was a big disaster. Just Thursday afternoon, there had been an announcement about the SWDB orientation for the next day, 9:30am Friday. I was really having my second thoughts of attending because I must finish our committee work plan which I have to submit on Friday. So, Thursday I spent the whole evening working with the proposed work plan. I already slept at around 2 in the morning. I still thought of studying for the 2 quizzes but my mind gave up already, lol. I just left a note for my mother telling her to wake me up so I can still attend the orientation.
The next morning (which was already Friday), I hurried to school. Ten minutes before 9:30 and I was still at Legarda station. I almost ran just to be in time. But when we got to the auditorium, there were just few students. We started already at 10:15am. tsk. Filipino time.
We had our two-hour break since we didn't had our Logic class. That's our time to study for the two quizzes. We were supposed to have our lunch at the pav but I got irritated when it was full of students and parents. We also checked the area near the Xerox station but still there were no seats. We just decided to have our lunch at the lobby. Then, after eating, we stayed at the pav(good thing there were already seats just enough for us-we did the "bulilit" again,lol). Another thing that made me irritated was we were trying to study but the students were so noisy, with loud voices and laughters. Instead of the travel and business terms that we were to memorize, what retained in our memory were the names of the boys these group of girls were talking about, lol. My goodness, all they did was to do "gimik and stuff"!! grr.hahaha. I pity them.
Anyway, we already had our quiz in TTOM, which I think I did a lot of mistakes. Then, we had another vacant time, again, we stayed at the pav even if it's raining. I was annoyed with this girl who kept on talking and talking as if there's no tomorrow, lol. And her voice can be heard at the other pav. How come she can't notice us studying. This incident resulted in another "not-so-good" quiz. I made some mistakes again. Hmm.
But still, our day wasn't that so ruined then. We had this activity in our PDSR class, which we were to answer this: "What I like most about you is...". Since we're just three in a group, we decided to join another group of barkada, and we shared our thoughts. And not just that, since we finished at once, we shared some gossips,lol. (ooops, all true, sorry) But we're not mean girls, huh?
There were so many things that still happened but I'm too lazy to tell it then. I'm just glad that despite the incidents yesterday, despite the noisy students that didn't allow us to study, the rain, the quizzes, mistakes in our quizzes, bad moods :( (there were plenty of us who were in a bad mood), still I thank God for this day. Although the very moment I woke up I was already in a bad mood, He helped me shift my mood into a better one just to be able to have a good treatment with other people. It's just that when I'm in my bad mood, one person suffers, lol (right? you know who you are). And He also gave me realizations. Actually I feel better now, even though I still have lots of things to do, He showed me a better way to do things right. Being irritated or having bad moods doesn't really help. Now, I know already that whenever such things happen again, I can simply utter a simple prayer, and wallah! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! :)
Thanks to God for these blessings, and thanks to my friends for sharing some funny and weird moments with me, and thanks to you for your patience and for making me happy all the time, even if I'm transforming into a monster,lol, still you're always there. :)

i miss you

I miss you, yes you :) Thanks for printing my article.

Thank God It's Thursday

I woke up late this morning. All I can remember was, I was dreaming, but the thing is, I can't remember my dream. I'm just disturbed with the fact that I woke up late just because of some nonsense dreams. Thanks to the missed calls from my bestfriend/alarm clock, lol. Though I still have enough time left, I wanted to arrive at school early. So, I just hurried.

I got to school just in time. I stayed at the lobby and I was talking to no one. I love silence (though the lobby was full of noisy students). As much as possible when I don't have to say anything, I just keep quiet. That's me. Well anyway, we started our French class and good thing the professor didn't call me for recitation because I wasn't really in the mood to recite, although I was listening attentively (because of confusing lessons), and then we had our Business Communication, and finally our Philippine Literature. I found myself listening quietly and patiently on these three subjects, but the thing is, I was really bored. I was so sleepy but thanks to God I handled the boredom. haha. It seems that the hours passed by quickly that we didn't even notice we were already dismissed. But hey, we can't just run and go home. We still have a meeting. We talked about who will be participating in the pageant (hooray I wasn't chosen). Then we had our committee meeting.

It was really hard then to call the attention of everyone because I'm not the leader type or whatsoever. I just kept on talking and talking, sharing with them the plans, and I know everyone was listening (maybe they already pity me that's why, haha) but still, I found myself in the middle of confusion (with all the noise and a feeling of shyness). I was not comfortable really with my position, with all those people listening to me. I was talking and it's like my mind was just saying "go on,just tell them your plans even if no one's listening", although it's not true, because I can see everyone staring at me. That's what I really hate, when people stare at me. Yes, of course that's a part of communication, but I find it uncomfortable. Even my bestfriend is used to my way of talking to him. We don't usually look at each other. haha. I feel really timid during our meetings. I just hope this will end already. I don't have the confidence, although my blockmates are really supportive and I can see their eagerness in doing the tasks I assigned to them. Anyway, I just pray for successful activities.

And last thing, I still don't know if I can join the tour. Some were saying our international tour is so expensive. In fact, I and my friends are just planning on our own tour in which we can have it in a cheaper price. But a part of me is also interested in joining the int'l tour because I am thinking about the efforts that I will be exerting. See, i became the head of a committee and I will not join. I find it useless. What about the tasks that we planned and executed? hmm. And they said, it's not about the money, it's about the EXPERIENCE. Alright. Fine then. Whatever happens, happens.

It is already 1:23 in the morning. Now, THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY! Weekend! Can't wait for long hours of sleep. :)

I can do all things

Is life unfair? No. Not really. I disagree. I believe that everything has a purpose. I know that whatever situation that is happening in our lives, God has His plans. The best plans, great and perfect ones for us. It's just that this afternoon, something unexpected happened which somewhat ruined my day (but thanks to my bestfriend for making me feel better).
This morning I woke up so early, maybe an hour earlier from my scheduled time of waking up. I'm trying to sleep then, but I'm afraid that I might be late for our 10am class, so what I did was just text my bestfriend. We had some discussions and stuff. Serious stuff to talk about. Then I took a bath, fixed myself, and off I went to school. I was hoping for a good day but somehow, it turned out, another "not-so-good" day.
We had our IDS class and we did an activity. It's quite weird of our professor to let us do an activity in which we can call a friend, literally call a friend, or text, and we can even share our answers to our blockmates. Well, he has his objectives for this activity, which are, to be informed of some computer related terms/acronyms and to be able to know the concept of GIVING (giving the answers), and the last one I can't remember. Of course, I texted my bestfriend at once (sorry for the interruption, because he was at work and doing some revisions in his projects) and I even called him to help me with the activity, which turned out really great 'cause I got the answers correctly, with some confidence in me (because I trust him, well I gain a GREAT CONFIDENCE whenever he's with me) except for some 's' mistakes. My friend was so impressed with my bestfriend that she kept on telling me "Pot, ang galing galing ni Empoy, thank you thank you", lol. Well, this one made me glad for this morning. Then...
Lunch time, I just had a little time to rehearse my lines in our French dialogue. I didn't had a feeling of being nervous because we were already used to dialogues, since our first year in college, Spanish course back then. But, the fact that I and my partner didn't rehearsed (too lazy of us to do that, I guess), I did bad in our dialogue. It was too late, too late to discover my mistake. It was already during the dialogue that I found out I forgot to copy the question "Quel est le prix de la chambre?". I failed to memorize it and it ruined our dialogue. Sorry. Lesson learned? Don't be too laxed at some things and don't always expect PERFECT results at once. This thing already ruined my day.
Hours passed, then we're dismissed early by our LIterature professor. And we had our meeting for our tour and travel operations and management class, in which we'll be having our international tour. Just last week I was worried because I joined the Marketing and Promotions Committee (which I really like) without my close friends with me. I don't have any problems with the task because I'm used to it but I was worried at the people I'm dealing with, because they were all 'barkadas' and I'm the only 'SOLO FLIGHT' in the committee. But then, God is good. Yesterday, our class president announced some important matters, which made me transfer to another committee. So, I transferred to the Operations Committee, where my friends belong. This made me feel comfortable.
Unfortunately, another unexpected thing happened. We had a meeting (committee), wherein we were to decide on some tasks and think of who will be our committee head. There, "Sino ang head natin?". I was surprised when they were pointing at me, and saying "Si ICEE! ICEE na lang head!" Fine. FIne. What's with me? Why vote for me to be the head. I don't even know what to do. This isn't happenning. I was strongly refusing not to be in the position. Then, we just decided to do the "POMPYANG" (not sure of the spelling) and whoever loses will be the head. FINE. To be fair with everybody. And the next thing surprised me. I LOST! I became the committee head. Although I had a little training of being a leader in our church, I still don't have the confidence to face my blockmates, or even lead the group. Another thing, it's a large group. Hmmmm.
Anyway, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT ALREADY! I'm just thinking that God placed me in the position to prove that I can also excel in other things. IS THIS A TEST? A CHALLENGE, I suppose. I am not really confident of my abilities and skills, especially in this task. I just pray that He gives me the strength, knowledge and wisdom, presence of mind, and confidence as I handle this task. I think this is also a training for me as I enter the "career world" two years from now. Anyway, I can't change the decision already so I just pray for better execution of tasks and great results in the end.
And one last thing, just a verse from the Bible..."I can do all things through HIM who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13. God bless.

spin

♥♥♥This song is dedicated to YOU ♥♥♥

SPIN by LIFEHOUSE

I'd rather chase your shadow all my life

than be afraid of my own

I'd rather be with you

I'd rather not know where I'll be than be alone

and convinced that I know

and the world keeps spinning round

my world's upside down

and I wouldn't change a thing

I've got nothing else to lose

I lost it all when I found you

and I wouldn't change thing

no you and I wouldn't change a thing

everything I know has let me down

so I will just let go

let you turn me inside out

cause I know I'm not sure about anything

but you wouldn't have it any other way

and the world keeps spinning round

my world's upside down

and I wouldn't change a thing

I've got nothing else to lose

I lost it all when I found you

and I wouldn't change thing

no you and I wouldn't change a thing

spinning, turning, watching, burning

all my life has found its meaning

walking, crawling, climbing, falling

all my life has found its meaning

you and I wouldn't change a thing

no you and I wouldn't change a thing

and the world keeps spinning round

my world's upside down and I wouldn't change a thing

I've got nothing else to lose

I lost it all when I found you

and I wouldn't change thing

no you and I wouldn't change a thing

no you and I wouldn't change a thing

Saturday is a Pizza Day

Yesterday I went to Marquinton with my bestfriend. I had a busy week so it's just normal for me to insist that we visit the mall (although we don't do shopping, we just want to walk,haha). I just want some quiet time. And definitely, he's the perfect guy I want to be with whenever I want to relax, simply because he knows everything about me already. It's just alright with him if I don't talk much. He would give me some time thinking of different things (as long as he's beside me, it's fine). He listens to my stories. He also tells me stories at once when I would say "kwento ka". All the topics that we share, we would learn something from it. That's why I love being with him. Not just because he makes me laugh, smile, and even makes fun of me, but because I learn and discover new things from him.

We were supposed to hangout in Starbucks but we decided to have our early lunch at Shakey's. We used to do this before, during my PE days. Last semester I got a Saturday PE class. Handball 7-9am. Ahh so early. Then came the times when we had activities in which we must know the places in Manila. Good thing my bestfriend was "gala" during his college days in Manila. He already knew every place there. So, I would ask him to accompany me and bring me to Intramuros, SM malls, Ermita, Divisoria, etc. Name it, he knows it, haha. He would also wake up early in the morning to wait for me while I was having our PE. Ah, I remember, he was having a consultation that time. A CFAD student consults him for his thesis (congratulations to Carl who passed and already graduated, and thanks to my bessy for the help) Anyway, so there, before, we used to have our lunch at Shakey's or Yellow Cab. That's why we already called Saturday a PIZZA DAY, because we love eating at Italian restaurants serving pizza and pasta. blah blah.

Then, yesterday, we ate at Shakey's Marquinton. Have I said it already? Anyway, we enjoyed a lot. This time he asked me to pray. Everytime we go out, we usually have this "unahan prayers", lol. Not the "unahan makatapos" but the "unahan na turuan" haha. One of us must be able to ask the other one to lead the prayer, at once. So yesterday, I lost. haha Anyway, we just had a great talk, some photos taken, and we walked. Then he asked if we could go to Cubao for some guitar effects (this one's a long story so I'd rather not tell it then), I really wanted to go so we could have more time but for some "confidential/secret" matters, he eventually decided to cancel it. Then, we just went to church for our dryrun.

Thank you Lord for the time. I'm looking forward to more pizza days with you. Yes, you know who you are. As if you don't. Haha. Next stop? DQ sandwich! :) And ICECREAM! And ISAW! UP.. bring me there, I want ISAW! :)

Thanks bes! :) Love you.

career matters

We have a lot of courses related to business administration this semester. My plan is to really apply for a Flight Attendant job, just as what majority of the tourism students want. I am already preparing for it. I may have the height, but I'm having doubts with the other requirements. I'm a bit scared of some other skills that I must have. I'm scared that I might fail on some interviews. I'm scared that I might not have the confidence needed for that moment. I'm just scared that I might not be qualified. Still, I'm lifting all these fears up to God and I'm sure He has set a perfect plan for me.

As we go through different discussions about business administration, I feel that I'm getting more and more interested in management. This started when I was appointed to be one of the leaders in our church. Though there's so much pressure in this task, I really enjoy serving the Lord and I feel like I'm developing some management skills in me. I admit I still have difficulties in being a leader because I really prefer working behind the scenes. Anyway, I even discovered my skills in handling promotions (though it's not really me who's doing the stuff, it's my bestfriend, but I participate a lot). Even if I still have lots of things to learn in this management thing, I believe that it can really help me in the coming years.

I have lots of plans with me for the future. I also have alternative plans, too. If ever I would not be a Flight Attendant, I am planning to work in a Travel Agency. I am also interested in being an Events Organizer. I believe that I have to excel in other things too and not focus with just one thing. Like for this case, if ever I won't be an FA, it is a good thing that I have developed some other skills in me that I can apply in other field. Got my point? (this is just some positive effect on me being a pessimist, thinking that I might not be an FA) See, our course (tourism) has lots to offer. We can also work in a hotel, airline, agency, etc. Well so much for these.

With all of these, I just pray that GOD will give me the perfect job in the future. Two more years to go and I'm in the real world, then. Career Matters. Future Matters. It all depends on how successful we want our future to be and how we pursue it, and of course, how strong our faith is.

meet my bestfriend

Meet my bestfriend. The guy with the brown pants. I don't know why I uploaded this photo but I just love looking at him and listening to him whenever he plays the guitar. Thanks to Kuya Mark for this photo. Btw, the guitar he's holding is glass. I'll give a clearer view of glass next time.

I'm just so proud of him. And I'm thankful for everything. He's been always nice to me from the very start (the time I had my guitar lessons). And now that we are bestfriends for almost three years, nothing has changed. We even became closer and more open with each other's thoughts. We share our ideas. Every thought that I'd like to tell him, he's always ready to listen. Even the nonsense ones he still takes time to listen. He's just a "one text" away. Everyday I learn new things from him. He always gives me life lessons which I always think about and serve as my guide for every decision.

Thank YOU for everything. For the smiles and laughter, for the funny and sometimes corny jokes,( Peace!) for all the lessons, and for being a true best friend to me. You're the best.

born to serve

31 May 2009. We had a recital. Here are some of the pictures by Kuya Mark. The rest of the photos are on my multiply site. But the most complete ones are on my sister's multiply site. :) Enjoy serving the Lord through our talents.